Ah to be young and alone

So I'm nearing the middle-end of my second day traveling solo, coincidentally also day 2 in Dublin. I'm going to try and write humorous reviews of everything I do as well as what Victoria assigns me for Puppets in the Mail, but since I haven't posted yet I figured I'd just generally update first.

Traveling alone is...hard. I thought I was used to spending time alone, but two things: I was used to time alone when I was voluntarily choosing to be alone, and had people who could be around if I wanted them to be, and I was used to being alone in familiar places. Even Ghana was familiar by the time I was spending a lot of it on my own during my ISP.

The thing is happening where I forget how to talk to humans that I don't know, so that is one thing that makes it hard. On the rare occasion when someone does speak to me, I struggle with responding because one generally doesn't respond to strangers with "render me useless" "can you help me let me in" "for myyy sake" or any other inside joke-turned common phrase that I use to talk to my contemporaries. I haven't even been with my contemporaries lately, but even talking to my family is very different because I just have a running commentary on life.

Everyone always tells me that I'm outgoing and good at making friends but I've come to think that's only true within communities when there is already an implied level of friendship. Like I knew how to be outgoing at school because every group I was in - Johnston, Beta, mutual friends, etc, there was already an implied level of inclusiveness. That doesn't really exist with strangers.

So, I'm trying to get used to it. I keep myself great company but it's a bit like a car that has only had periodic maintenace and is now supposed to drive across the country. But that's a bad analogy because I left my car in California, where I did not leave myself.

As I mentioned earlier, the thing is also happening where it's harder to be alone in a place you don't know. I automatically feel more self conscious than I do walking around any type of walking place at home. This I'm hoping I'll just get used to when I accept that the world is the world no matter where I am.

Regardless, I'm glad I have camp people to see in England and my little in Vienna and such. It all feels less daunting that way.

Coming soon, my review of AerLingus, the Guiness Storehouse, the Dublin Zoo, the Dublin Wax Museum, the writer's museum, the James Joyce Center, Christ Church Cathedral, and the Viking Pub Crawl which I'm about to go on. Ahh.